做个更好的朋友，本文主要内容关键词为：做个论文,朋友论文，此文献不代表本站观点，内容供学术参考，文章仅供参考阅读下载。
Back when we were kids,the hours spent with friends weretoo numerous（注：numerous[
]adj.许多的）to count. Therewere marathon（注：marathon[
]adj.马拉松式的）telephone conversations,all-night studyingand giggling sessions.Even after boyfriends entered thepicture,our best friends remained irre-placeable（注：irreplaceable[
]adj.不能替代的）.And time was the means by which wenurtured（注：nurture[
]vt.培养，养育） those friend-ships.Now as adult women wenever seem to have enough time for anything.Husbands, kids,careers and avocations（注：avocation[
]n.业余爱好）--all require attention; too often, makingtime for our friends comes last on the list of priorities（注：priority[
]n.优先考虑的事）.And yet,ironically,we need our friendsas much as ever in adulthood.A friendship network is absolutelycrucial（注：crucial[
]adj.决定性的，关键性的）for our well-being（注：well-being[
]n.康乐，安乐，安康）as adults.We have to do the hard workof building and sustaining the network.Here are some importantways for accomplishing this.
Let go of your less central friendships Many of ourfriendships were never meant to last a lifetime.It's naturalthat some friendships have time limits. Furthermore, noweveryone has a busy social calendar,so pull back from somepeople that you don't really want to draw close to and givethe most promising friendship a fair chance to grow. Bewilling to “drop everythig” when you're truly needed Youmay get a call from a friend who is really depressed over acertain problem when you are just sitting down to enjoy aromantic dinner with your husband.This is just one of thoseinstances when a friend's needs mattered more. Sometimes,because of our unbreakable（注：unbreakable[
]adj.不会破的，不易打碎的） commitments or other circumstances,we simply can't give a needy friend the time we'd like.Ifyou can't be there at that given moment,say something like.“I wish I could be with you--I can hear that you're in pain.MayI call you tomorrow？”Be sure your friend knows she's caredabout.Take advantage of the mails Nearly all of us have palsliving far away--friends we miss very much.Given the limitedtime available for visits and the high price of phone calls,writing is a fine way to keep in touch--and makes both senderand receiver feel good.Besides,letters,cards and postcardshave the virtue of being tangible（注：tangible[
]adj.可触摸的，有实体的）--friends can keep them and rereadthem for years to come.Risk expressing negative feelings Whentime together is tough to come by,it's natural to want themood during that time to be upbeat（注：upbeat[
]adj.[□]充满希望的，乐观的）.And many people fear thatothers will think less of you if you express the negativefeelings like anger and hurt.Remember honesty is the key tokeeping a friendship real.Sharing your pain will actuallydeepen a friendship.Don't make your friend's problems your ownSharing your friend's grief is the way you show deep friendship.But taking on your friend's pain doesn't make that pain go away.There's a big difference between empathy（注：empathy[
]n.同情，同感，共鸣）or recognizing a friend's pain,andoveridentification（注：overidentification[
]n.过分认同）,which makes the sufferer feel even weaker--“I must be in worse pain than I even thought,because theperson I'm confiding（注：confide[
]vt.吐露（秘密等））in is suffering so much！”Remembertroubled people just need their friends to stay grounded intheir own feelings.Understand that long-term friendship waxand wane（注：wax[
]n.（月亮的）渐盈 wane[wein]n.衰退期，月亏期wax and wane盛衰）Long- term friendship are similar to marriage in thatthere will be both periods of excitement and dull-ness（注：dullness[
]n.无生气，乏味）.Your firends and you might be out oftouch for a year or more because things get so hurried nowadays.But understand that if you need each other,you'll be therefor each other as much as you can.Never underestimate the valueof loyalty Loyalty has always been rated as one of the mostdesired qualities in friends.True olyalty can be a fairlysubtle thing.Some people feel it means that,no matter what,your friend will always take your side.But real loyalty isbeing accepting the person, not necessarily of certainactions your friend might take. Give the gift of time asoften as time allows Time is what we don't have nearly enoughof--and yet,armed with a little ingenuity（注：ingenuity[
]n.巧妙）,we can make it to give it to our friends.The trickis remembering that a little is better than none and thatyou can do two things at once.For instance,if you both gofor a weekly aerobics,go on the same day.If you both wantto go on vocation,schedule（注：schedule[
]vt.[美]安排，排定） the same destination（注：destination[
]n.目的地， 终点）.
The last but not the least thing to keep a friendshipalive is to say to your friends “I miss you and love you.”Saying that at the end of a phone conversation,or a visit,or writing it on a birthday card,can sustain（注：sustain[
]vt.保持，维持）your friendship for the times you aren'ttogether.
在孩提时代，我们和朋友呆在一起的时间不计其数：马拉松式的电话交谈，整夜在一起学习和玩耍。即使在交了男朋友之后，我们最好的朋友的位置还是不可取代。正是相互在一起的时间培养了我们之间的友谊。现成是成人女子了，时间似乎总不够用。丈夫、孩子、事业和业余爱好都要投入精力，因而很多时候便把朋友撇到了一边。然而有讽刺意义的是，我们在成年时和儿童时代一样需要友谊。一个由友谊编织成的网络对我们成年人的幸福至关重要。我们必须努力去建立和保持这个网络。以下便是达到这个目的的几个重要方法：
舍得放弃 许多友情本来就不能终生维持。有的友情随时光的流逝而消失是情理之中的事。此外，现在每个人都那么忙碌，所以，放弃那些你并不想真正接近的人，以更多的时间去培养那些最重要的友情。急朋友之所急 当你刚刚坐下想和丈夫享受一顿浪漫的晚餐时，你的朋友却突然打来电话，她正为某一问题沮丧不已。在一些情况下，朋友之需显得更为重要，这只是其中的一个例子。有时候，因为我们有事无法分身或别的原因，我们虽然想助一臂之力，但苦于没有时间。如果你不能及时给朋友以帮助，那么不妨对她说，“我真希望能陪陪你——我能听出来你很痛苦。我明天给你打电话好吗？”一定要让你的朋友知道你对她的关心。利用鸿雁传书 几乎我们所有人都有远在异地让我们非常想念的朋友。考虑到抽不出时间去走访，电话费又那么贵，那么写信是保持联系的好方法。这种方式让写信人和收信人都感到很高兴。另外，信件、卡片和明信片都是看得见摸得着的，朋友可以将其保存，以后还可以再读。吐露真情实感 大家聚在一起不容易时，自然希望彼此都有个好心情。好多人都担心，把自己的心事——愤怒和受伤害等吐露出来会让人家瞧不起。记住以诚相待是保持友谊真实的关键。让朋友分担你的痛苦其实反倒会加深友谊。不要过分卷入朋友的痛苦 分担朋友的痛苦是表露友情的一种方式。但是承受朋友的痛苦并不能消除其痛苦。心灵相通（即理解朋友的痛苦）与过分卷入朋友的痛苦有很大区别。过分卷入会使对方感到自己更脆弱——“我的痛苦肯定比我感受到的更可怕，因为听我倾诉的朋友都如此难过。”记住，处于逆境中的人需要的只是朋友的理解和支持。友情也会有盛衰 长期的友情同婚姻一样，既有兴奋期，也有觉得乏味的时候。现在一切都这么匆忙，你和你的朋友有可能一两年都不通音信。但相信一旦彼此需要，你们仍会竭尽所能。切勿低估忠诚的价值 忠诚一直被列为朋友间最重要的品质之一。真正的忠诚是件相当微妙的事情。有人认为忠诚意味着不管你做什么，你的朋友总是站在你这一边。但真正的忠诚指的是接受其人，而不一定赞同其所有的行为。巧妙利用时间，增进友谊 时间似乎总是不够用，但稍微变通一下便可以为朋友挤出时间来。重要的是要记住时间即使少一点也总比没有好，而且有时你可以一箭双雕。比如说，如果你和某位朋友每个星期都要去做一次健美操，那么就安排同一天去。如果双方都要去度假，那么不妨选择同一个去处。
维持友谊的最后一点，但并不是最无关紧要的一点，就是在通完电话或拜访结束时说一句，或在生日卡上写一句：“我想你，爱你！”这简单的话语会在你们分开的日子里维系友谊。
标签：pain论文;