Is Physical Labour Necessary for College Students?，本文主要内容关键词为：Labour论文,Physical论文,Students论文,College论文，此文献不代表本站观点，内容供学术参考，文章仅供参考阅读下载。
原稿：
Several months ago,I read of a story about college students doing physical labor in the newspaper.The story was about two college students in Guizhou province,who were cleaning shoes to earn money in the campus.When asked why they choose this kind of work while they could do more elegant work,such as teaching,they replied with pride"it's not our purpose to earn some money,on the contrary 1,it's the sense of being low class labors and their hard life what 2 we really concerns about 3."
Their words deeply impressed me.Whether it's necessary for college students to do such menial jobs seems to be a controversy nowadays.Inmy view,it's advisable for college students to do some physical labor occasionally.The one never tried any physical labor will not realize what real work is.In addition,his view of life and value will be deficient.
Students can relieve their heavy pressure as they doing physical labor.As is known for all,college students have to work hard because of severe competitions.Physical work can help let off the pressure.It help the students to get rid of their prejudice against physical laboring workers.4 It's common that college students have the sense of superiority and look down upon the physical laboring workers.In their opinion,only brainwork is decent,while physical labor is absolutely the opposite.However,this prejudice need to be changed when they step into the society.No matter how much one earns or how good his education background is,he should have learn to respect others.Otherwise,he won't achieve great success.
In addition,students are likely to know better about the society through physical labor,living in the campus,students have few opportunities to contact with various kinds of people,especially those who are living at the bottom of the society.Those people work more than 8 hours a day but obtain small wage.Though we may never become one of them in the future,it will provide us a new view in judging things.
In all 5,it's not a waste of time to do physical labor for college students,which in return gives us 6 a precious experience.But one thing I must add is that excessive physical labor will impact study and health.Occasional physical labor is necessary for college students.
修改稿：
Several months ago,I read in the newspaper a story about college students doing physical labor.The story was about two college students inGuizhou province,who were cleaning shoes to earn money on campus.When asked why they had chosen this kind of work when they could do something decent,such as teaching,they replied with pride,"It's not our purpose to earn money.It's the sense of being laborers and their hard lifethat we are really concerned with."
Their words impressed me deeply.Whether it's necessary for college students to do such menial jobs seems to be a controversy today.In myview,it's advisable for college students to do some physical labor occasionally.The person who has never tried any physical labor will not realize what real work is.In addition,his view of life and value will be deficient.
Students can relieve their heavy pressure by doing physical labor.As is known by all,college students have to work hard because of severecompetition.Physical work can help let off pressure.It will help the students to get rid of their prejudice against physical labor,since quite a few college students look down upon the physical laborers.In their opinion,only brainwork is decent while physical labor is absolutely the opposite.However,this prejudice needs to be changed when they step into society.No matter how much one earns or how good his education is,he should respect others.Otherwise,he won't achieve great Success.
In addition, students are likely to know more about the society through physicol lobor,living on campus, students have few opportunities tocontact with various kinds of people,especially those who are living at the bottom of society-those who work more than 8 hours a day but obtain a small wage.Though we may not become one of them in the future,it willprovide us a new view in judging things.
In conclusion,it's not a waste of time for college students to do physical labor occasionally,which in turn gives them a precious experience,though-excessive physical labor will affect their study and health.
点评：
这篇作文的语言比较通顺，有的短语也用得较好，如第一段中用When asked...而不用When they were asked...。但从总体来看句型单调，作者对从句的基本用法掌握欠佳，层次也不是非常清楚。其实使议论文层次清楚的最简单方法就是用first,second,third……来分别引导若干段落，阐述自己的论点。现就文中几个要点的改动评述如下：
1.on the contrary在这里欠妥，因为获得某种体验和挣钱可以兼顾，不能说“相反”。
2.强调句只能用It is...that/who...的结构，不能说It is...what/when/where。
3.concern用作动词时的句型通常是concern oneself about something，但在本句中这样用不大方便，故改。
4.本句同下一句的因果关系十分清楚，所以最好用since,because,as之类表示原因的连词将这两句连接起来，以改进语篇的衔接。请注意：本文最后一段的改动中也有这种合并句子的情况。
5.in all意为：in total number（总计，共计），如：There were about 5,000 people in all.表达“总结”这一概念可以说：in short/in brief/in summary/to sum up等。
6.这里的代词显然指前面的college students，所以应该用them。
唐国全／点评
参考作文：
Physical Labour is Necessary for College Students
Today the idea that physical labor should be required for college students is very controversial.Most people feel that college students should not have to do any physical labor,but I disagree.Physical labor is necessary,for college students.
If you look at famous people who have succeeded in life you will see that almost all started with physical and menial labor.William Shakespeare was a butcher's assistant,Thomas Edison was a ticketchecker on a train,and Albert Einstein worked as a clerk in a patent office.Yet they managed to accomplish many great and wonderful things throughout their lives.
Physical labor helps to keep a student's priorities and values straight.Most students look down on those who have to work physically,rather thangive them the respect that they deserve,learning to give respect is an important part of college,and the easiest way to learn is through physical labor.
Also,it is important for students to learn about society,and the easiest way to learn about society is to associate with those who live on the bottom-the people who work more than eight hours a day but obtain a small wage.By seeing the world through their eyes,one will get a new view into judging one's life.
标签：work论文;