My View on Human Cloning，本文主要内容关键词为：View论文,Human论文,Cloning论文，此文献不代表本站观点，内容供学术参考，文章仅供参考阅读下载。
A decade ago,it was unrealistic to clone a human being.But all has changed since a sheep named DOlly,an exact gerietic replica of its mother 1 was given birth 2 on July 5,1996.Becsuse the principle of human cloning is as same as that of animal cloning.3People all over the world began to consider this new technology seriousty.4 Fierce debate arose over the pros and cons of trying to clone a human being.
Indeed,every fruit of science has its wide prospect of application,5 Many problems on 6 human reproduction or medicine may be solved with human cloning.How excied 7 it would be when a life of patient whose some organ 8 didn't work well could be saved as a fitting 9 replacement became available,10Such transplantation eliminates 11 the immune reaction,for the new organ was cultivated from a batch of cells of the patient itself.12 And what a merry thing it was when a copy of one person had been made to overcome infertility.13
However,a large amourlt of people14 including Ian Wilmut who created DOlly 15 find human cloning offensive.For one thing,the technology is far from perfect.The incidence of a live and health clone is little.16 Shall we kill off the ones with a deformed body or defective brains? That,I'm afraid,would cause censure of people Who hold their religious beliefs 17.For another,even if the technology is perfected,who can guarantee no one will misuse it for evil purpose? 18
I agree that the evil use of human cloning will lead to very dangerous consequences.But I don't share with the thoughts of prohibiting it.19 That science promotes the development of human being of which nothing can stop the advancing step.20 I think it still has a long way to judge whether cloning has more advantages than disadvantages or not.21
Simon's Comments:
This student has written a well-structured and clearly argued essay.Furthermore,she has been ambitious in her writing and has used a lot of complex sentence structures and high-level grammar.Unfortunatelv,the main problem this student has is that a lot of these complex sentences are not written clearly and there are frequent errors of tense which lead to confusion.
We will however,start with the usual minor errors.There should be a comma after (1).(2) should be' was born' ,not' was given brith'.(3) needs to be a comma,not a full stop.When we use the word' because' we can use it in two ways.Either we use it as a conjunction between sentences(3)and(4)as in' People all over the world began to consider this new techndogy seriously,because the principle of human cloning is the same as that of animal cloning,or we use it as originally used in the essay.However,the two sentences must be joined together.The structure is ' Because A therefore B ' or ' A because B ' ,and both A and B must be in the same sentence.(5)should be ' Indeed,every fruit of science has a prospect of wide application.'(6) should be' many problems regarding' or'many problems relating to' or' many problems to do with'.(7) should be ' exciting' ,not' excited'.(8) ' whose some organ' should be 'who has an organ'.(9)should be 'suitable'.(11) should be' transplante eliminate'.(14) should be' a large number of people' ,for we don' t say ' an amount of people'.With (15) there should be a comma before and after the clause.(17) should be' would cause censure from people who hold to their religious beliefs'.The criticism or censure would come fromthose who have religious beliefs,and the religious would not be criticized.(18) should be' evil purposes'.(19)should be' But I don't agree with the idea of prohibiting it.' Last but not least,(21) should be ' I think there is still a long way to go before we can judge...'
Let us now turn to the problem of sentences that don't work well.First it sentence (10).The main problem here is that the student is not consistent in her use of tense.She commences the sentence using the conditional' it would be'.She needs to make surethe grammar in the rest of the sentence agrees with this initial conditional.The sentence should therefore be'How exciting it would be when a life of patient whose organ does not work well could be saved as suitable replacement becomes available.' Second is sentence (12).Once again the student uses the wrong tense.The student uses the past simple,but this isn't something that has happened but something that might or will happen.So the sentence should read' Such transplants would eliminate the immune reaction as the new organ will have been cultivated from batch of cells from the patients themselves.'Third is sentence(13),which has the same problem.Human cloning has not happened yet.So the sentence should read'And what a merry thing it would be when a copy of one person has been made to overcome infertility.' The problem with sentences (16) and (20),however,is that of word order.Sentence (16) should be'There are few incidences of a live and healthy clone.'and 'Science promotes the development of human beings and nothing can stop these advancing steps.'
Simon's Revised Composition:
My View on Human Cloning
A decade ago,it was unrealistic to clone a human being.But all has changed since a sheep named Dolly,an exact genetic replica of its mother,was born on July 5,1996.People all over the world began to discuss this new technology seriously as the principle of human cloning is the same as that of animal cloning.Fierce debate arose over the pros and cons of trying to clone a human being.
Indeed,every fruit of science has a prospect of wide application.Many problems regarding human reproduction or medicine may be solved with human cloning.How exciting it would be when the life of a patient with a malfunctioning organ could be saved as a suitable replacement could be easily grown in a laboratory.Such transplants would also eliminate the risk of rejection by the body due to an immune reaction as the new organ would be cultivated from a batch of cells from the patients themselves.And what a joyful thing it would be if a copy of a person could be made to overcome infertility.
However,a large number of people including Ian Wilmut,who created Dolly,find human cloning offensive.For one thing,the technology is far from perfect and the incidences of a live and healthy clone are few and far between.Shall we kill off the ones with a deformed body or defective brains? That,I'm.afraid,would cause censure from people who hold to their religious beliefs.For another,even if the technology is perfected,who can guarantee no one will misuse it for evil purposes?
I agree that the evil use of human cloning will lead to very dangerous consequences.But I don't agree with the idea of prohibiting it.Nothing can stop the advancing steps of science.As world history teaches us,if one society rejects a new technology,another society will not.I think there is still a long way to go to judge whether cloning has more advantages than disadvantages or not.
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