The Hottest Craze of Private Car，本文主要内容关键词为：Craze论文,Hottest论文,Car论文,Private论文，此文献不代表本站观点，内容供学术参考，文章仅供参考阅读下载。
原稿：
Automobile is.I suppose,the hottest craze in China nowadays:one has only to go to one of the important exhibitions of cars in Shanghai,Beijing and Guangzhou or any other large city,to see this.Rich and poor,young and old,one can see them all there,enquiring and watching from one car to another--although,they may concentrate exclusively not on the cars,but the beautiful car models.
One of the most surprising things about the fashion in China to a foreigner is the great knowledge of the car,which even the smallest boy seems to have.He will tell you.if you ask,most of the brands of the cars running on the street.He may has collected many photographs of them.He can tell you,with a great air of authority,where the original productive place of a certain kind of world-famous car is.
In recent years,a car has become a necessary,and convenient tool for many Chinese,while it was a status symbol decades years ago.Last year,more than two million cars came off the assembly lines all over the country,and most of which have entered the common households of China.The number of private cars has grown so rapidly in the past several years that many worldwide auto manufacturers aiming at sharing the immerse car market of China flood in one after another.
The general popularity of private cars,I think,marks the beginning of a new era in China's economy,an era of material affluence,and an era of the rebirth of the Chinese nation.We exult at the advent of the craze of private car.But this also makes me frown and look ambivalent on it.
There is no doubt that the car has deeply transformed our lives and our society.One should surely thank its investors for the rapidity and convenience that it has brought into our lives-for example,the remarkable growth of the mobility of population and resource over the decades years.A person owning a car can live in a city and work in another one.Many people who work in cities now may enjoy country living because of the use of the car.
As a coin has two sides,also,a car has its good and its bad sides.It is certain that,along with its benefits,it has brought many serious problems.
Standing on a corner of any city,wherever you look,you'll find it's cars,cars,cars-an endless procession of cars.The queues of cars for traffic lights at the crossroads reach staggering proportion.The streets are so crowded and there is hardly any room to move on the pavements.Traffic fumes from millions of exhausts pollute the atmosphere.The speeding wheels cause the heavy dust blowing in the air.The flow of traffic goes on unceasingly,and the noise never stops.
Heavy use of cars has created a great demand for petroleum and transport facilities of various kinds,including roads and parking lot,etc.Petroleum resource is exhaustible sooner or later.Road-building means the reduction of farmland.But traffic experts say building more roads is only a quick-fix solution that will not alleviate the traffic problems in the long run.The transport systems often overfunction under the pressure of traffic congestion,which leads to the increase of traffic accidents.
In addition to all this,varied traffic rules,painstaking drudgery for a driving license,increasing concern over social and environmental disruptions caused by cars,and so on,are unavoidable things that a car owner has to face.Purchasing expenditure apart,the cast of keeping a car-for example,oil cost,automobile insurance,road-maintaining fee,etc,is not a light burden for a middleclass household.So,if not very necessary,and the public transportation is still decent,why do we jump on the bandwagon to buy an expensive nuisance?
修改稿：
Automobiles are,I suppose,the hoffest craze in China nowadays:one has only to go to one of the important exhibitions of cars in Shanghai,Beijing,Guangzhou,or any other large city to see this.Rich and poor,young and old,anyone can see them enquiring and looking from one car to anolher-although they may not concentrate exclusively on the cars,but the beautiful car models.
One of the most surprising things to a foreigner about the fashion in China is the great knowledge of the car,which even little boys seem to have.They can tell you,if you ask,most of the brands of the cars running on the street.They may have collcted many photographs of them.They can tell you,with a great air of authority,where the original production place of a certain kind of worldfamous car is.
In recent years,a car has become a necessary and convenient tool for many Chinese,while it was a status symbol decades ago.Last year,more than two million cars came off the assembly lines all over the country,and most of them have entered the common households in China.The number of private cars has grown so rapidly in the past several years that many worldfamous auto manufacturers aiming at sharing the immense car market in China flood in one after another.
The general pepnlarity of private cars.I think,marks the beginning of a new era in China's economy,an era of material affluence,and an era of the rebirth of the Chinese notion.We exult at the start of the craze of private cars.But this also makes me frown and look ambivalently on it.
There is no doubt that the car has deeply transformed our lives and our society.One should surely thank its inventors for the speed and convenience that it has brought into our lives-for example,the remarkable growth of the mobility of population over the past decade.A person owning a car can live in a city and work in another one.Many people who work in cities now may enjoy country-side life because of the use of the car.
As a coin has two sides,so a car has its good and bad sides.It is certain that,along with its benefits,it has brought many serious problems.
Standing on a comer of any city,wherever you look,you'll find cars,cars,cars.The queues of cars for traffic lights at the crossroads reach staggering proportion.The streets are so crowded that there is hardly any room on the pavements.Fumes from millions of exhausts pollute the atmosphere.The speeding wheels cause heavy dust to blow in the air.The flow of traffic goes on unceasingly,and the noise never stops.
Heavy use of cars has created a great demand for petroleum and transport facilities of various kinds,induding roods and parking lots.Petroleum resource is exhaustible sooner or later,Roadbuilding means the reduction of farmland.But traffic experts soy building more roads is only a quickfix solution that will not alleviate the traffic problems in the long run.Traffic congestion leads to the increase of traffic accidents.
In addition to all this,a car owner has to face varied traffic rules,painstaking drudgery for a driving license,and increasing concern over social and environmental disruptions caused by cars.Purchasing expenditure apart,the cost of keeping a car-for example,fuel cost,automobile insurance and road-maintenance fee,is not a light burden for a middle-class household.So,if not very necessary,and when the public transportation is still decent,why do we jump on the bandwagon to buy an expensive nuisance?
习作点评：
1.原稿中第一段第二、三行“one has to go to one of the...exhibitions”作者中文的意思是想说，“你只需去……便知道了。”而这种说法更地道的英语是“all one has to do is go to...”或“all you have to do is go to...”。
2。第二段中有一个基本错误（也可能是笔误）“He may has collected…”情态动词may后面要跟动词原形have。另外，这段几处主语“He”均被Doug改成了复数“They”，这样显得更符合文中所提到的爱车人的普遍性。
3.第三段里的“decades years ago”甚为累赘，所以改成“ten years ago”，也可以说“a decade ago”或者“decades ago”。
4.原稿中第六段里用的一句习语“As a coin has two sides,also a car has its good and bad sides”中的“also”为冗词，可将其改成“so”或者干脆不用。
5.原稿第七段第三句的结构欠佳。拥挤到某种程度应说“so crowded that...”。
6.原稿倒数第二段最后一句话“The transport systems often overfunction under the pressure...”作者可能想表达“……在……压力下交通系统……不堪重负”这个意思，但实际上意思含混不清，所以删去。
最后值得一提的是一些措词的替换，如第一段中的“watching”改成了“looking”，因为“watching”一般指观看移动的目标，而“looking”则是看静止的物体，对静止的车展而言look当然更好一些。“came off the assembly line”改成“rolled off the assembly line”更为生动。“oil”改为“gasoline”更准确一些。
吴文忠教授／点评
参考作文：
Automobiles are the hottest craze in China today:all one has to do is visit one of the car exhibitions in Shanghai,Beijing,or Guangzhou to see all the people admiring the cars.Both the rich and the poor are present,looking at the displays and the shiny cars(some also might concentrate briefly on the beautiful models standing by the new cars).
Cars have become a necessity for many Chinese-mainly for the convenience.Ten years ago a car was a status symbol;last year more than two million cars rolled off the assembly line in plants all over China.Most of these cars ended up in common households.The demand for cars keeps increasing,and thus the number of foreign car companies competing for this market keeps increasing as well.This demand for new cars marks the beginning of the changeover of China's economy to an economy of material affluence.
While this change from mass transportation to personal transportation has benefits,such as convenience,it also has many drawbacks.The increase in the number of cars on the road causestraffic jams at the traffic lights,more air pollution,and a significant increase in the amount of noise present on the streets.It means that more petroleum,parking lots,gas stations and more roads will be required in the near future.It also means that there will be more accidents and more congestion,which will increase the amount of time required for travel and make driving a car less convenient.
In addition to this,the high cost of automobile insurance,the cost of gasoline,and the roadmaintenance fees,make a heavy burden for a middle-class household.Varied traffic rules,the painstaking drudgery required to receive a driving license,and the increasing concern over the env iron mental damage caused by the numerous carsare all unavoidable for a car owner.While a car is convenient and a status symbol,it also has many drawbacks that make public transportation a decent option.
By Doug Lubbers
标签：traffic论文;