婚姻誓言的力量，本文主要内容关键词为：誓言论文,婚姻论文,力量论文，此文献不代表本站观点，内容供学术参考，文章仅供参考阅读下载。
My dear granddaughter,
You've been on my mind ever since this ship left New York,and I know why.You're exactly the age I was--two months short of your twentieth birthday--when Papa John and I were married 50 years ago.But it's what happened onboard this morning that's brought me down to our stateroom to write to you.
Today one of the events in the schedule caught our eye:11:00 A.M.:Renewal of Marriage Vows;Archdeacon Robert Willing;The Yacht Club.
It sounded like the very thing for a fiftieth-an-niversary（注：anniversary
周年纪念）celebration.The couples would face each other and answer "I do"to the traditional promises.Of course,Kerlin,my mind went at once to the conversation you and I had at Christmastime.I was telling you we'd chosen the Queen Elizabeth 2 for this trip because it was on her namesake（注：namesake
（以他人名字命名的）同名的物）the Queen Elizabeth,en route to Europe in 1947,that Papa John and I first met."We fell in love and were married in Switzerland just four months later,"I said.And you said,"I might fall in love someday,Gran,but I'd never take a chance on marriage!"
I understood that reaction,Kerlin,with partnerships so fluid today.I remember your telling me rather wistfully,when you were in grade school,that all your friends there in Nashville had two Christmases--one with their mother,one with their father.
Reverend（注：reverend
对牧师的尊称）Robert Willing urged us old-marrieds to take a message to young people today.Can we really,I wonder?Can our experience mean anything now?So much has changed!In 1947 you traveled by ship because that was the way you got to Europe.You married because that was the way two people in love could live together.Today going by ship is an option--traditional and romantic--but you can get where you're going quicker and cheaper by air.You can get seemingly everything marriage offers quicker and cheaper too.So why get married?What makes marriage any different from living with a significant other?Most of the weddings we've attended recently have been between couples who've lived together for years.When they take the formal step of marriage,does anything change?I think it does,and I think the change is precisely the making of promises.
Promises are scary things.To keep them means relinquishing（注：relinquish
放弃，放开）some of our freedom;to break them means losing some of our integrity.Though we have to make them today,promises are all about tomorrow--and the only thing we know for sure about tomorrow is that we don't know anything for sure!
And it's not just the outer world that changes in unforeseeable（注：unforeseeable
无法预见的）ways;it's you yourself.Every new experience--new responsibilities,new contacts--changes your perspective.
There's something that makes promises between two people still riskier:Your partner keeps changing too.In a long-ago letter to my grandmother I wrote,"On the ship today I met an Army veteran who's on his way to the University of Geneva,just like me!" The veteran,of course,was Papa John,and through the years I've kept on meeting him.Different ages,different stages--he's always someone new.
Your grandfather has written about his struggle with alcohol,so you know how difficult those times were for us.And I'm sure he never expected to be nurse,housekeeper and sole functioning parent to three small children when I went into a clinical depression.
Yet out of both those traumas（注：trauma
（精神）心灵创伤）,tremendous growth and joy eventually came.And the reason,I think,lies in the power of promise.The power of a promise is that it keeps partners together while the tough times turn into healing,closeness and deepened love.If we drop in and out of relationships,we don't stick around long enough to allow these good things to happen.
Don't be afraid,Kerlin,if you fall in love someday,to make that lifelong commitment（注：commitment
许诺，承诺）.The two of you won't be setting sail alone!
With love from us both,Gran
［参考译文］我亲爱的孙女：
从海轮离开纽约以来，我一直为你牵肠挂肚，我知道这是为什么。你现在的年龄是差2个月到20岁，50年前，当我和你爷爷约翰结婚时，我正好是你现在的年龄。由于今天上午在船上发生的事，使我来到舱房给你写信。
今天的日程表中有一项引起了我们的注意：上午11点钟：神父罗伯特·威林在帆船俱乐部主持重申婚姻誓言仪式。
这看来很像是一次庆祝金婚的盛典。老夫老妻们要面对面地对传统的婚姻誓言说：“我愿意。”克林，我很自然地回想起我祖孙俩在圣诞节的谈话。当时我告诉你我和你爷爷这次外出乘“伊丽莎白女王2号”是因为它的名字；1947年我就是在乘坐“伊丽莎白女王”海轮赴欧洲途中与你爷爷约翰首次相逢的，我俩一见倾心，4个月后在瑞士结婚了。你对我说：“某天我也会爱上一个人，但是，奶奶，我绝对不会结婚。”
克林，我理解你对婚姻的看法，目前的婚姻关系确实很不稳定。我记得当你上小学时就曾经面带羡慕之情地告诉我说，你在纳什维尔的小朋友们个个每年要过两次圣诞节——一次跟妈妈过，另一次跟爸爸过。
牧士罗伯特·威林要求我们这些老年夫妇将有关婚姻的传统见解传达给当今的年轻人。我弄不明白我们是否能办到。我们老人的生活体验对当今的时尚仍然有意义吗？已经发生了多大的变化呵！1947年我们乘海轮去欧洲，是因为只有海轮可乘；人们结婚是因为他们相爱，想要生活在一起，就非此不可。今天人们旅行乘轮船是多种交通工具中的一种选择；人们认为它既有传统意义，又有浪漫情趣。如果你想节省时间和金钱，你完全可以坐飞机。婚姻也与此相似。你即便不结婚，同样可以又快又省地得到婚姻所能提供的一切。那么人们为什么还要结婚呢？是什么使婚姻不同于与你器重的人同居呢？目前我们参加的婚礼往往都是同居多年的一对恋人举行的婚礼。当他们采取结婚这一正式步骤时，会有什么变化发生呢？我想确实是会有变化发生，这变化确切地说就是双方作出有承诺和誓言。
誓言令人生畏。恪守誓言意味着我们要放弃某些自由，违反誓言则意味着丧失某种人格。虽然我们做出誓言是在今天，但是誓言的意义却是在于明天——而对明天的不确定性是我们对明天的惟一了解。
不仅外部世界会发生不可预见的变化，你自身也要发生变化。每种新的体验——新的责任，新的交往——都会使你的想法改变。
某一情况会使两人之间的誓言更具有风险，那就是你的配偶也在不停地改变。很久以前，我在一封给我奶奶的信中写道：“今天我在轮船上遇见了一位陆军老兵，他和我一样正要去日内瓦大学。”那位老兵当然就是你爷爷约翰。在持续数十年的时间里，我总是与他相守。人的年龄在变，社会环境在变，但在我眼里，你爷爷总是风采依然。
你爷爷曾经写下他与酗酒做斗争的过程。你可以得知在他酗酒的年月里，我们经受过多大困难。我敢断言，在此之前他绝对意想不到，在我患抑郁症时，他既要当护士，又要当管家，还要成为一个单独照料3个孩子的父亲。
在经历这两种家庭创伤之后，终于盼来了巨大的进步和欢乐。我想，其原因就在于誓言的力量。誓言的力量在于促使夫妻双方配合一致来克服艰难岁月，来求得平顺、融洽和爱情的深化。如果在夫妻关系上不能持之以恒，就不会有足够的时间相守，也就看不到美好生活的来临。
克林，你不要害怕，如果某天你坠入爱河，就不妨做出这一终生承诺。你和你深爱的人是不会各自单独扬帆出海的。
爱你的爷爷奶奶
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