A Book That Made My Day，本文主要内容关键词为：Book论文,Day论文，此文献不代表本站观点，内容供学术参考，文章仅供参考阅读下载。
原稿：
In 1 the last winter vacation,I read an excellent novel named"Robinson Crusoe"which I had longed for a long time.This novel was so instructive that I couldn't help reading it time and time again,and each time it is just like a new friend who gave me plenty of food for thought.2 I could not live without it,3 as it had become the food of my mind.
Robinson,a young man who was born in 4 a good family,in order to realize his dream of traveling around the world,he 5 boarded on a ship one day,unfortunately a shipwreck thoroughly changed his life,he was bleached into 6 an isolated island where 7 is deserted with no sign 8 of human habitation,but howling fierce wind;with no sign of birds,but the roaring of the wild beast.
My friends,assuming that you were Robinson,what would you do if you were in this situation?Sorrowfully waiting for death or to survive by self-reliance?Robinson set us a good example,that is,we should not yield to life at any time.We should believe that everything yields to intelligence;what is more,9 perseverance will overcome all difficulties.Resting on this,Robinson succeeded and became the only person survived the shipwreck,and returned his homeland at last.
In brief,we should keep the spirit of life optimism in mind,all the time;10 we must work,and above all,we must believe in ourselves;we should believe that intelligence and perseverance will surmount all difficulties.
修改稿：
During the last winter vacation,I read an excellent novel named"Robinson Crusoe,"which I had wanted to read for a long time.This novel was so instructive that I couldn't help reading it time and time again,and each time it was just like a new friend who gave me plenty to think about.I could not live without it as it had become the food of my mind.
Robinson,a young man who was born to a good family,in order to realize his dream of traveling around the world,boarded a ship one day.Unfortunately,a shipwreck thoroughly changed his life,and he was beached onto an isolated island that is deserted without any signs of human habitation,but a howling fierce wind.The island does nat have any signs of birds,but the roaring of a wild beast.
My friends,assuming that you were Robinson,what would you do if you were in this situation?Sorrowfully wait for death or survive by selfreliance?Robinson set us a good example-we should not yield to life at any time.We should be lieve that everything yields to intelligence and that perseverance will overcome all difficulties.Relying on this,Robinson succeeded,and became the only person who survived the shipwreck,and returned to his homeland at last.
In brief,we should keep the spirit of optimism in mind all the time.We must work,and above all,we must be confident.We should believe that intelligence and perseverance will surmount all difficulties.
点评：
这篇作文层次清楚，有一定的思想性，但其中不乏中国学生易犯的典型错误。
1.“在寒假（读了一本书）”最好用during the winter vacation。during常指在较长一段时间内，特别是强调所述之事持续了一段时间。而in通常指在某一段时间范围内，不在意时间的持续性，比如：He first visited Shanghai in 1937.
2.food for thought是口语，一般不用作书面语言。再说它同下面的the food of my mind的表达法太接近，故换一种说法。
3.as是连词，在这里引导一个原因状语从句，它前面的逗号应该去掉。
4.在表示“出生于……家庭”这个意思时，通常都是说to be born into/to/of a...family，如：Frank was born into a wealthy family.熟悉这种微妙的搭配是掌握地道英语的关键，这也是英语最难学之处，平常阅读时要细心观察。
5.这句话语法不对。段首的Robinson应该是主语，这里为何又有he做主语？换个角度看，如果he是整个句子的主语，那么段首的Robinson就无法理解。此外还必须指出：整个第二段在语法上都是不能接受的。全段有主语、谓语的完整句子有三个，但第二句第一个单词的首字母没有大写，句尾也没用句号，而且第三句句首没用连接词，这是中国学生最容易犯的典型错误，一定要注意避免！
6.这里bleached显然是拼写错误。into通常指运动的东西进入一个立体空间，而onto则指运动的东西来到一个平面上。这里指Robinson被冲到一个海滩上，应该用onto。
7.where是关系副词，在从句中不能作主语。
8.表达“没有……”这个意思时，不能说with no…，应该说without any...。
9.what is more经常作状语补充更多的信息，在意义上同上文有密切关系，但不能直接连接两个句子。
10.一个句子中通常只用一个分号，这里用句号较好。同时将下一句话中句首的We的首字母大写。
唐国全／点评
During the last winter vacation I read Robinson Crusoe,a wonderful novel which I had wanted to read for a very long time.It's the story of a man who is shipwrecked on an island and who manages to survive due to his ability to keep a calm mind and stay focused on what he needs to stay alive.
Rather than wait for death,Robinson Crusoe does everything that he can to survive.He does not yield to life;instead,he turns the island into a paradise on earth through the use of his intellect.Robinson perseveres,and eventually he is rescued from his island.He returns to his home thanks to his perseverance,intellect and calm mind.
We should be like Robinson Crusoe and know that our intellect and perseverance will help us get through the hardest of times of our lives.We should not give up no matter what we might encounter in our lives.
By Doug Lubbers
标签：his论文;