My Daughter My FriendCondensed fromWORKING MOTHER PATRICIA LORENZ，本文主要内容关键词为：fromWORKING论文,FriendCondensed论文,Daughter论文,LORENZ论文,PATRICIA论文，此文献不代表本站观点，内容供学术参考，文章仅供参考阅读下载。
WHEN MY DAUGHTER Julie was six years old,she wrote aletter to the tooth fairy and put it under her pillow withher tooth.I wrote back,telling her to be a good girl and toalways brush her teeth carefully.I didn't know we werestarting a tradition.
By the time Julie was in the fourth grade,she had figuredout that handwritten notes could do more than welcome thetooth fairy.Once,after a heated discussion we'd had about whyshe couldn't buy a pair of clogs（注：木底鞋）,Julie wrotethe following:
Dear Mom,
Here are the reasons I want clogs:
1.You wanted boots for a long time and you finally gotthem.
2.If clogs hurt my feet that's my problem.
3.When Grandma gave us money for Christmas she said wecould get whatever we wanted with it.
Love,Julie
I gave in-and Julie learned the power of the written word.
Over the next few years,Julie and I exchanged notes aboutboys,homework,phone calls and chores（注：日常的零星事物）.Some notes were apologies after shouting matches.Others werejust happy thoughts spilling onto paper.When Julie was in theeighth grade,she responded to a love note of mine:
Dear Mom,
Your letter make me feel great no matter what kind ofmood I'm in.Sometimes they even make me cry because theytouch me so deeply.I'm really glad we have the kind ofrelationship that we do,even though we have our arguments.Iguess that's life with a teen-ager-or with a 39-year-old!
I love you.Julie
P.S.Writing my feelings down to you is much easier forme than trying to express them verbally.
Julie's postscript（注：（信末签名后的）附笔，又及）explained why the note system worked so well for us.She wasgoing through the traumas（注：（精神上的）创伤；痛苦，不幸）of adolescence（注：青春，青春期）,and I was having someproblems of my own.Writing was the most effective way for usto communicate our feelings.
One day during the summer before Julie started high school,she left her razor（注：剃刀）on the tub（注：桶，盆，盛食物等的小容器）where her five-year-old brother might have cuthimself.After I pointed out her carelessness,I asked Juliewhat she thought her punishment should be.She stomped（注：以重踏步方式（向某方向）走去）off in a huff（注：一阵恼火）,butan hour later left a note on the kitchen counter.
Dear Mom,
I'm sorry for being so thoughtless.For my punishment Iwill not:
1.Go to the mall（注：商店街（车辆禁止入内））afterschool.
2. Watch television in the afternoon.
3.Snack（注：吃点心或小吃）before dinner.
She never left her razor on the tub again.
Two months later,on Julie's first day of high school,wehad a fight about whether it was appropriate for her to wearmakeup（注：化妆品）.
That evening,I received a six-page,handwritten letterfrom her.
Dear Mom,
I'm sorry if I acted snotty（注：高傲的）this morning,butI really got mad.You didn't even give me a chance to sayanything!If you would at least discuss things with me maybeit would be a little easier for us.Instead of telling me howawful my eyes look,you could help me to make them look better.
Page three contained all the logic my tormented（注：倍受痛苦的）teen could muster（注：集合）.
1.I think I'm very responsible and can learn to putmakeup on in ways that both you and I would like.
2.I don't "cake it on"like some of my friends do-I readthe directions on the package and advice in magazine articleson how to apply it.
3.I'm growing up;I want to add to my looks and bring outmy eyes.
4.How about a three-week trial period to test my abilityto wear it?
Needless to say,my daughter wore make-up-discreetly（注：不显眼的）-from then on.Her whole face seemed to light up,notonly from the touch of blush（注：脸上泛出红晕）,but from thesense of freedom she had pried（注：打听，刺探）out of hermother.
Not long after that,my husband and I separated.The nextfew months were chaotic.Besides trying to provide stabilityto my four children,I had to budget（注：把……编入预算，安排）our funds（注：基金）and work linger hours.As my raw emotionscaused my mothering skills to dwindle（注：减小，缩小）Juliecame to the rescue（注：解救，援救）with a note.
Dear Mom,
I know you're going through a hard time and I wish Icould make all your problems disappear.Unfortunately,I canonly tell you how much I love you.We're all upset about thedivorce,but you're still a great,helpful and loving mom.
Love,Jules
There were quite a few times that year when I took myfrustrations（注：灰心，沮丧，失意）out on the children.Afterone particularly nasty tirade（注：令人不快的长篇的批评性的讲话）,Julie dropped this message in my purse for me to read atwork:
Dear Mom,
I know things are difficult for you right now,and we allunderstand.I think you should go out more often to distractyourself.We are all growing up and have our own interests andfriends.We'll always be your kids and you won't lose us.
I love you! Jules
A few weeks before her 18th birthday I asked Julie whatshe wanted."I'm working on it,"she said.
I should have known that Julie was writing me the letterof her life.Here's what some of it said:
Soon I will be living on my own at college.I feel I havematured by following your rules with very few exceptions.
For my 18th birthday I would like to be treated andrespected as a mature and responsible person.I'd like:
1.A later curfew（注：宵禁）or none at all.
2.Permission to make and receive telephone calls after10 p.m.
3.The freedom to make my own decisions.
4.To be thought of as a close friend.
Now it was my turn to respond.I sat writin late into thenight.
Dearest Julie,
Adulthood isn't a sudden jolt（注：惊奇，震惊）of freedomto do whatever you want.It is simply being responsible.If youbelieve you can behave like an adult,I will treat you as one.
I next addressed her birthday proposition（注：观点，见解，主张）list,asking her to be considerate about curfews andphone calls.I agreed that she should make decisions and saidI would offer advice only when requested.
I ended with this:
Julie,I wish you a happy life fiiled with love and soliddecisions based on solid values.I hope you continue todevelop the many talents God has given you.
Heppy birthday,my friend!Mom
My daughter left home for college a few years ago.I'vemissed her tremendously,but our tradition has pulled usthrough again.Her letters from college have been wonderful!
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